Dear Violet,
It's been over a year since I wrote to you here. I didn't want it to get away from me, but I do have to cut myself some slack as it has been a busy year. My mind is running with so many things so I will try not to fit it all here.
A short (I'll try) summary;
Shortly after my last post to you in Sept 2016, your Uncle Chris' surgery was postponed after it was clear that he was not prepared physically, logistically to go through the surgery. Many issues came up, from my parents not being informed, to a rogue doctor so willing to operate on Chris (he was fired and banned from research for some seedy activity while employed in UC Davis), to Lolo Munding successfully completing his aortic aneurysm stent, going through rehab, making it home for the holidays, a subsequent hospitalization and realization that he was terminally ill in Feb 2017, due to a hypertrophied right ventricle, his code on Mar 20, 2017, his stay in the hospital, and his passing on April 22, 2017, after 48 years of marriage to Lola. Chris eventually had his surgery at UCSF on Mar 1, which was successful, and he has been symptom free. He has since been diagnosed with diabetes. Lolo had his funeral on May 5, 2017, and at his mass, you had your "first" communion. He is buried at All Souls Cemetery in Vallejo, next to the pond where ducks swim. Before he passed, he hand picked the site, and we were all there at Kaiser Vallejo when he gave out his last breath and his heart let out his last beat....we stayed as we felt his warm skin slowly turn cold.
I will fill in details of this as time goes on, as of this writing, a lot of it is documented in pictures and posts on Facebook by myself and relatives.
We grieved him through May and June, and I don't really recall what happened during those months. I think all of us were just numb and trying to grieve in our own way. I'll have to look back at a calendar and document later. We still grieve him. Lately, Lolo Munding has been showing up in my dreams. I have a lot to expound on regarding losing my father, and I want to share what I experienced, partly so that it makes sense to me, but also to let you know that I understand what you will go through when my time comes.
In July, we had your first birthday party at Kennedy Grove in San Pablo, where your Mom had a "The Wild Things" theme. It was a sunny but breezy day, yet so many relatives from both sides of your family came to celebrate you. I made this mixture that literally filled the park with giant bubbles. You were a little young to notice them then. They're one of your favorite things now, and I sometimes fill the entire living room with them when you ask for them.
In August, you went on your first cruise for your Mom's family reunion. Lola Betty came with us too. It was a difficult, yet good trip, as this was her first activity without Lolo Munding. We celebrated her birthday in an Italian restaurant in Ft Lauderdale. You sat in her lap as we sung happy birthday to her, and you and her blew out her candles. Just for the record, your first cruise was on Royal Carribean's Symphony Of The Seas, to date the biggest cruise ship in the world, and from Ft Lauderdale, we traveled to St. Maarten, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Labadee Haiti.
We didn't take any trips in September, but that month was probably the first month that life began to move on without Lolo Munding. There are still a lot of things that need to resolve themselves, most importantly, everyone, especially Lola Betty, trying to find their new 'normal'.
In October, we took our first trip to Hawaii (Kauai) with you. This was the trip that was originally scheduled back in April, when your Lolo was in the hospital. We postponed it for obvious reasons, and as it turned out, had we gone, we would have not been here with him when he passed away. It was a special trip for a lot of reasons (your first trip to Hawaii, your MOm's first trip to Kauai). It was an absolute delight to see you enjoy it (see videos on Facebook and or the future server I've yet to install).
Which brings us to November. I joined the Knights Of Columbus, a Catholic Fraternal philanthropic organization that Lolo Munding was a member of. He was a Fourth Degree Knight. We had our first Thanksgiving without Lolo...there are a lot of firsts during the first year I suppose, but as the trite saying goes, 'it gets better with time'. I'm not totally sure I'm convinced of that. I will always painfully miss my father. Regardless, I think Thanksgiving was a success despite Dad not being around. You seem to call his name a lot lately, either at the house, and even at the park. "Tow-doh" is how you call him.
That's it for now. I know that's a lot to summarize, and doesn't even really go into details of my thoughts behind it all, but I'll get to it as the days go by.
Suffice it to say, that your light and aura continue to be an inspiration to the people you encounter, and your mother and I love you more intensely everyday, even when we think we couldn't love you anymore. You're growing into a toddler now, and as I wrote in my letter to you back in Feb 2016 (on FB for now), just as we are here to guide you, I find myself learning from you as well.
Love,
Dad
