Dear Violet,
A couple of weeks into your 17th month, and you're starting to become more self aware, and with that comes not just happy feelings, but the not so happy feelings also. We've actually seen these for the past couple of months, but as your brain develops and you grow, we begin to see these with more frequency.
Your confidence has always flown high, as we encourage you to fall literally and figuratively, and pick yourself up again, yet I know there's a fine line where (and we are still observing more, just as you observe us) traits that are more frowned upon can start to crop up. That doesn't make them bad per se, but we are starting to see that the time will come soon when we will have to intervene more, to teach you how the world works.
You've begun to display fear more readily, by running back and climbing on me, or by being near me. You don't cry when you're scared, but you do get quiet and that look of uncertainty. There is also when you hold your hands in front of your eyes as if to shield yourself from what's in front.
I first saw you do this when Lola Betty threw her tantrum shortly before Thanksgiving. You didn't cry, but I could see you watching in horror.
You get mad when you don't get what you want (usually our phone to watch Chu Chu TV), and will cry out to voice your displeasure, but will also, stop, make quiet eye contact, sometimes throw something down. It's actually quite cute, and I try not to laugh so you know I'm taking you seriously.
Last night, i hid my phone from you when you started looking for it, and you yelled at me, picked up your globe, and dropped it in your display of anger. It dropped on my hand, and I disciplined you, telling you 'no', then you tried to scratch my face, and I hit your hand and told you 'no'. You didn't back down, you didn't cry, and we had a little mini stare down. Afterwards, you walked away and started playing with your carousel. You brought it over and wanted me to push the top so it could spin. I do so, and you laughed and laughed.
At the park the other day, you did something new, when you kept telling the only other kid in the park "No", when he was climbing the stairs to the slide. Your Mom and I called out to you to be nice, and you started blowing him kisses. You seem to know when you're in trouble, and when that happens you also seem to try and turn it around.
I really do cherish this time in your life right now Violet, it's very precious and I know it will be fleeting.
You wake up with a smile, have begun to call out Da-da when you hear me stirring, you hand me either the elephant or your Minnie Mouse, before I pick you up and you start your day (making animal sounds, greeting Mama in bed, and go upstairs where you call for Echo).
Putting you in your car seat, you usually have a smile for me, and we will play a mini game of peek-a-boo before we take off.
You still kiss Mama and DaDa when we ask.
I digress, but these memories of you I will always cherish. I'm excited for you to discover the world, but I'm also fearful. Just this morning I was reading an article about how kids at a school in Boca Raton started a program #WeDineTogether, so that kids in school socialize and don't eat alone. Reading the comments from adults, there are so many kids that get bullied. I don't want you to get bullied, nor do I want you to be a bully. I know if/when it ever happens, it will be difficult for me to watch as it will for you. I hold you in my arms cradling you, knowing that I won't be able to protect you like this and make it go away so easily.
Love,
Dad
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Rambunctious. 12/1/17
Dear Violet,
So a little about you, and the person you are at close to 17 months... You’re a very sweet little girl. You generally wake up smiling, making animal sounds like the teddy bear in your crib, or the elephants up on the shelf, or the monkeys on your wall. These days you are learning very quickly, and we can see your mind starting to develop language skills and more cognitive skills.
You know some of your ABCs by sight and color, you can count 1,2,3, and sometimes up to 6. Some of your more frequent words are: Mama, Dada (yet you like to call my Mama), CooCoo (Kuya), Todah (Lola), Todoh (Lolo), Liiiiights), A-wash (I want...), Moh-no (moon), ball, apple, O-ra (orange), Up Up (Up/Down). Wakaaa! (Water).
There are words that you know but don’t say yet, or you have your way of saying it....like Star; when you see one, you sing (in your baby pronunciation), “Up above the world so high...). You don’t name animals by name, but you make the sound that they make....dog (woof woof), cat (meeeow), fish (glug glug), zebra (poom, poom), lion (rawrr), bear (rawwr), tiger (rawr, but sounds like a bobcat), birds (peep peep). I’m sure there are others but my mind is racing right now. Airplane, moon, baby.
You love to be chased, you get more giggly than scared. We will go around the kitchen and to the hallway and back again. You like to work on things, and get upset with us when we do it for you; you especially like to put covers on jars, caps on tubes, etc...so we let you work on them. You like grabbing feet and screaming. When you want someone to get up, you’ll grab their leg repeatedly. And when you want someone to wake up, you’ll tap their arm or face.
When it’s time to eat, you like to have your own spoon, and you are getting very proficient at using it. We still have to have our own spoon and feed you into between your spoonfuls to make sure that you eat. A lot of time, you’re mixing your food, or crushing it; something you picked up as you’ve watched us prepare your food. Yesterday, you managed to put on your galoshes by yourself. I caught a video of it. I did try to help you, and you got upset with me that it was done. I have a video of that too.
You know a bit of sign language as we’ve been fairly consistent teaching you. You know “more” (fingers together). “all done” (waving hands like a craps dealer), and “please (tapping your belly).
You LOOOOOVE the water, but you do seem to know your limit. We started you on swim lessons at 6 months, and through this summer, but really need to get you back to swimming.
I have spanked your hand at times, and you’ve gotten scared or quiet with the discipline. I’m still trying to figure out how to be consistent with this. One time, i spanked you and you stopped, but ran off, shocked, then turned around and I saw the tears form in your eyes and you let out a slow loud cry. My heart almost broke. But I came and got you, you tried to pull away, and I apologized to you...but I also let you know that you have to listen to me and your mom when we tell you to do something. It really is for your safety. You can tell by the tone of our voice if something is wrong.
Early on, you seem to have picked up on people’s mannerisms and evaluated them. You seem to want to make people smile and be happy. That’s a good thing...you’re thinking of others. You also have gotten upset and cried when they’ve given you mean looks.
Playing with kids your age is something I’m still observing. You share your things with a smile, and you expect the same, but there are some kids that don’t share, and don’t take too kindly when you come in and start playing with something that they’re playing with. You’ll learn to say ask in time.
You’re a beautiful little girl. I may be biased, but everyone’s reaction to you is the same, that you are a cute and affectionate kid. Some had kidded that you’d by easy to kidnap, because you are welcoming to most people when you meet them. That’s not to say that you’re not wary, you have an intution about people and are wary when you first meet them or see them for the first time in a long time. But you become comfortable with them after a while, and/or if you see that they’re okay with me and your mom. She and I have to watch that though, because as adults we’ve learned to mask our apprehension with people we don’t fully trust. I don’t want to misguide your intuition.
That said though, your presence commands a room’s attention. You can be seen waving and blowing kisses to people on the street, in the market, etc. It usually starts with them looking at you, and then you looking back and noticing them, then you smile and wave, and maybe blow a kiss...after that, you’ve got them hooked.
That’s it for now. I had a great time playing with you last night as Mom, Auntie Jade, and Auntie Gurjeet got ready to go out for a night out in San Francisco. We played with your toys, we chased each other around the kitchen, laughed, yelled, put you on the balance ball, where you laughed so heartily. Showered you in the sink, and gave you milk per the routine, and you went down in your crib easily. It was a bit late staying up for you, but I don’t really have any hard fast rules on that. Whatever allows you to have the most fun, be the most happy, and get the best rest (even if it’s not the whole night).
Love,
Dad
So a little about you, and the person you are at close to 17 months... You’re a very sweet little girl. You generally wake up smiling, making animal sounds like the teddy bear in your crib, or the elephants up on the shelf, or the monkeys on your wall. These days you are learning very quickly, and we can see your mind starting to develop language skills and more cognitive skills.
You know some of your ABCs by sight and color, you can count 1,2,3, and sometimes up to 6. Some of your more frequent words are: Mama, Dada (yet you like to call my Mama), CooCoo (Kuya), Todah (Lola), Todoh (Lolo), Liiiiights), A-wash (I want...), Moh-no (moon), ball, apple, O-ra (orange), Up Up (Up/Down). Wakaaa! (Water).
There are words that you know but don’t say yet, or you have your way of saying it....like Star; when you see one, you sing (in your baby pronunciation), “Up above the world so high...). You don’t name animals by name, but you make the sound that they make....dog (woof woof), cat (meeeow), fish (glug glug), zebra (poom, poom), lion (rawrr), bear (rawwr), tiger (rawr, but sounds like a bobcat), birds (peep peep). I’m sure there are others but my mind is racing right now. Airplane, moon, baby.
You love to be chased, you get more giggly than scared. We will go around the kitchen and to the hallway and back again. You like to work on things, and get upset with us when we do it for you; you especially like to put covers on jars, caps on tubes, etc...so we let you work on them. You like grabbing feet and screaming. When you want someone to get up, you’ll grab their leg repeatedly. And when you want someone to wake up, you’ll tap their arm or face.
When it’s time to eat, you like to have your own spoon, and you are getting very proficient at using it. We still have to have our own spoon and feed you into between your spoonfuls to make sure that you eat. A lot of time, you’re mixing your food, or crushing it; something you picked up as you’ve watched us prepare your food. Yesterday, you managed to put on your galoshes by yourself. I caught a video of it. I did try to help you, and you got upset with me that it was done. I have a video of that too.
You know a bit of sign language as we’ve been fairly consistent teaching you. You know “more” (fingers together). “all done” (waving hands like a craps dealer), and “please (tapping your belly).
You LOOOOOVE the water, but you do seem to know your limit. We started you on swim lessons at 6 months, and through this summer, but really need to get you back to swimming.
I have spanked your hand at times, and you’ve gotten scared or quiet with the discipline. I’m still trying to figure out how to be consistent with this. One time, i spanked you and you stopped, but ran off, shocked, then turned around and I saw the tears form in your eyes and you let out a slow loud cry. My heart almost broke. But I came and got you, you tried to pull away, and I apologized to you...but I also let you know that you have to listen to me and your mom when we tell you to do something. It really is for your safety. You can tell by the tone of our voice if something is wrong.
Early on, you seem to have picked up on people’s mannerisms and evaluated them. You seem to want to make people smile and be happy. That’s a good thing...you’re thinking of others. You also have gotten upset and cried when they’ve given you mean looks.
Playing with kids your age is something I’m still observing. You share your things with a smile, and you expect the same, but there are some kids that don’t share, and don’t take too kindly when you come in and start playing with something that they’re playing with. You’ll learn to say ask in time.
You’re a beautiful little girl. I may be biased, but everyone’s reaction to you is the same, that you are a cute and affectionate kid. Some had kidded that you’d by easy to kidnap, because you are welcoming to most people when you meet them. That’s not to say that you’re not wary, you have an intution about people and are wary when you first meet them or see them for the first time in a long time. But you become comfortable with them after a while, and/or if you see that they’re okay with me and your mom. She and I have to watch that though, because as adults we’ve learned to mask our apprehension with people we don’t fully trust. I don’t want to misguide your intuition.
That said though, your presence commands a room’s attention. You can be seen waving and blowing kisses to people on the street, in the market, etc. It usually starts with them looking at you, and then you looking back and noticing them, then you smile and wave, and maybe blow a kiss...after that, you’ve got them hooked.
That’s it for now. I had a great time playing with you last night as Mom, Auntie Jade, and Auntie Gurjeet got ready to go out for a night out in San Francisco. We played with your toys, we chased each other around the kitchen, laughed, yelled, put you on the balance ball, where you laughed so heartily. Showered you in the sink, and gave you milk per the routine, and you went down in your crib easily. It was a bit late staying up for you, but I don’t really have any hard fast rules on that. Whatever allows you to have the most fun, be the most happy, and get the best rest (even if it’s not the whole night).
Love,
Dad
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
2017
Dear Violet,
It's been over a year since I wrote to you here. I didn't want it to get away from me, but I do have to cut myself some slack as it has been a busy year. My mind is running with so many things so I will try not to fit it all here.
A short (I'll try) summary;
Shortly after my last post to you in Sept 2016, your Uncle Chris' surgery was postponed after it was clear that he was not prepared physically, logistically to go through the surgery. Many issues came up, from my parents not being informed, to a rogue doctor so willing to operate on Chris (he was fired and banned from research for some seedy activity while employed in UC Davis), to Lolo Munding successfully completing his aortic aneurysm stent, going through rehab, making it home for the holidays, a subsequent hospitalization and realization that he was terminally ill in Feb 2017, due to a hypertrophied right ventricle, his code on Mar 20, 2017, his stay in the hospital, and his passing on April 22, 2017, after 48 years of marriage to Lola. Chris eventually had his surgery at UCSF on Mar 1, which was successful, and he has been symptom free. He has since been diagnosed with diabetes. Lolo had his funeral on May 5, 2017, and at his mass, you had your "first" communion. He is buried at All Souls Cemetery in Vallejo, next to the pond where ducks swim. Before he passed, he hand picked the site, and we were all there at Kaiser Vallejo when he gave out his last breath and his heart let out his last beat....we stayed as we felt his warm skin slowly turn cold.
I will fill in details of this as time goes on, as of this writing, a lot of it is documented in pictures and posts on Facebook by myself and relatives.
We grieved him through May and June, and I don't really recall what happened during those months. I think all of us were just numb and trying to grieve in our own way. I'll have to look back at a calendar and document later. We still grieve him. Lately, Lolo Munding has been showing up in my dreams. I have a lot to expound on regarding losing my father, and I want to share what I experienced, partly so that it makes sense to me, but also to let you know that I understand what you will go through when my time comes.
In July, we had your first birthday party at Kennedy Grove in San Pablo, where your Mom had a "The Wild Things" theme. It was a sunny but breezy day, yet so many relatives from both sides of your family came to celebrate you. I made this mixture that literally filled the park with giant bubbles. You were a little young to notice them then. They're one of your favorite things now, and I sometimes fill the entire living room with them when you ask for them.
In August, you went on your first cruise for your Mom's family reunion. Lola Betty came with us too. It was a difficult, yet good trip, as this was her first activity without Lolo Munding. We celebrated her birthday in an Italian restaurant in Ft Lauderdale. You sat in her lap as we sung happy birthday to her, and you and her blew out her candles. Just for the record, your first cruise was on Royal Carribean's Symphony Of The Seas, to date the biggest cruise ship in the world, and from Ft Lauderdale, we traveled to St. Maarten, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Labadee Haiti.
We didn't take any trips in September, but that month was probably the first month that life began to move on without Lolo Munding. There are still a lot of things that need to resolve themselves, most importantly, everyone, especially Lola Betty, trying to find their new 'normal'.
In October, we took our first trip to Hawaii (Kauai) with you. This was the trip that was originally scheduled back in April, when your Lolo was in the hospital. We postponed it for obvious reasons, and as it turned out, had we gone, we would have not been here with him when he passed away. It was a special trip for a lot of reasons (your first trip to Hawaii, your MOm's first trip to Kauai). It was an absolute delight to see you enjoy it (see videos on Facebook and or the future server I've yet to install).
Which brings us to November. I joined the Knights Of Columbus, a Catholic Fraternal philanthropic organization that Lolo Munding was a member of. He was a Fourth Degree Knight. We had our first Thanksgiving without Lolo...there are a lot of firsts during the first year I suppose, but as the trite saying goes, 'it gets better with time'. I'm not totally sure I'm convinced of that. I will always painfully miss my father. Regardless, I think Thanksgiving was a success despite Dad not being around. You seem to call his name a lot lately, either at the house, and even at the park. "Tow-doh" is how you call him.
That's it for now. I know that's a lot to summarize, and doesn't even really go into details of my thoughts behind it all, but I'll get to it as the days go by.
Suffice it to say, that your light and aura continue to be an inspiration to the people you encounter, and your mother and I love you more intensely everyday, even when we think we couldn't love you anymore. You're growing into a toddler now, and as I wrote in my letter to you back in Feb 2016 (on FB for now), just as we are here to guide you, I find myself learning from you as well.
Love,
Dad
It's been over a year since I wrote to you here. I didn't want it to get away from me, but I do have to cut myself some slack as it has been a busy year. My mind is running with so many things so I will try not to fit it all here.
A short (I'll try) summary;
Shortly after my last post to you in Sept 2016, your Uncle Chris' surgery was postponed after it was clear that he was not prepared physically, logistically to go through the surgery. Many issues came up, from my parents not being informed, to a rogue doctor so willing to operate on Chris (he was fired and banned from research for some seedy activity while employed in UC Davis), to Lolo Munding successfully completing his aortic aneurysm stent, going through rehab, making it home for the holidays, a subsequent hospitalization and realization that he was terminally ill in Feb 2017, due to a hypertrophied right ventricle, his code on Mar 20, 2017, his stay in the hospital, and his passing on April 22, 2017, after 48 years of marriage to Lola. Chris eventually had his surgery at UCSF on Mar 1, which was successful, and he has been symptom free. He has since been diagnosed with diabetes. Lolo had his funeral on May 5, 2017, and at his mass, you had your "first" communion. He is buried at All Souls Cemetery in Vallejo, next to the pond where ducks swim. Before he passed, he hand picked the site, and we were all there at Kaiser Vallejo when he gave out his last breath and his heart let out his last beat....we stayed as we felt his warm skin slowly turn cold.
I will fill in details of this as time goes on, as of this writing, a lot of it is documented in pictures and posts on Facebook by myself and relatives.
We grieved him through May and June, and I don't really recall what happened during those months. I think all of us were just numb and trying to grieve in our own way. I'll have to look back at a calendar and document later. We still grieve him. Lately, Lolo Munding has been showing up in my dreams. I have a lot to expound on regarding losing my father, and I want to share what I experienced, partly so that it makes sense to me, but also to let you know that I understand what you will go through when my time comes.
In July, we had your first birthday party at Kennedy Grove in San Pablo, where your Mom had a "The Wild Things" theme. It was a sunny but breezy day, yet so many relatives from both sides of your family came to celebrate you. I made this mixture that literally filled the park with giant bubbles. You were a little young to notice them then. They're one of your favorite things now, and I sometimes fill the entire living room with them when you ask for them.
In August, you went on your first cruise for your Mom's family reunion. Lola Betty came with us too. It was a difficult, yet good trip, as this was her first activity without Lolo Munding. We celebrated her birthday in an Italian restaurant in Ft Lauderdale. You sat in her lap as we sung happy birthday to her, and you and her blew out her candles. Just for the record, your first cruise was on Royal Carribean's Symphony Of The Seas, to date the biggest cruise ship in the world, and from Ft Lauderdale, we traveled to St. Maarten, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Labadee Haiti.
We didn't take any trips in September, but that month was probably the first month that life began to move on without Lolo Munding. There are still a lot of things that need to resolve themselves, most importantly, everyone, especially Lola Betty, trying to find their new 'normal'.
In October, we took our first trip to Hawaii (Kauai) with you. This was the trip that was originally scheduled back in April, when your Lolo was in the hospital. We postponed it for obvious reasons, and as it turned out, had we gone, we would have not been here with him when he passed away. It was a special trip for a lot of reasons (your first trip to Hawaii, your MOm's first trip to Kauai). It was an absolute delight to see you enjoy it (see videos on Facebook and or the future server I've yet to install).
Which brings us to November. I joined the Knights Of Columbus, a Catholic Fraternal philanthropic organization that Lolo Munding was a member of. He was a Fourth Degree Knight. We had our first Thanksgiving without Lolo...there are a lot of firsts during the first year I suppose, but as the trite saying goes, 'it gets better with time'. I'm not totally sure I'm convinced of that. I will always painfully miss my father. Regardless, I think Thanksgiving was a success despite Dad not being around. You seem to call his name a lot lately, either at the house, and even at the park. "Tow-doh" is how you call him.
That's it for now. I know that's a lot to summarize, and doesn't even really go into details of my thoughts behind it all, but I'll get to it as the days go by.
Suffice it to say, that your light and aura continue to be an inspiration to the people you encounter, and your mother and I love you more intensely everyday, even when we think we couldn't love you anymore. You're growing into a toddler now, and as I wrote in my letter to you back in Feb 2016 (on FB for now), just as we are here to guide you, I find myself learning from you as well.
Love,
Dad
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