Dear Violet,
We just got back from our Staycation in Santa Cruz. Your mother and I usually travel quite a bit to faraway places, but given that you just arrived recently, we need to save up time and money to stabilize us before we can do that again regularly.
This break from the norm was really about just a change of scenery. Your mother is off of work to take care of you, but usually stays home with you or if you guys go out, will stay local. I happened to have close to a week off from work, so we headed to Santa Cruz for a few days.
We did a couple of hikes while we were there, one that skirted the cliffside of Wilder Ranch. The ocean waves crashed onto the cliffs, and we saw seals sunning themselves, and just took in the ocean air. I carried you on my chest and you slept the entire time.
Our second hike was at Henry Cowell Park on the Fall Trail. It was an out and back about a mile into the redwood forest. This is a hike that your mom and I usually do when we camp, and it was just as serene and peaceful, and scenic.
Things that we've noticed about you now that you're 7 weeks old. You definitely seem to take an interest in looking outside. I've caught you looking out the window while we are driving, and you were doing the same out of our hotel window this past weekend. You seem to be 'fighting' sleep when you get sleepy, and more and more we need to make the conditions right for you to fall asleep.
Your appetite is increasing! And as a result, your feeding times are not so regular anymore. It's a bit of an adjustment, but an expected one since you are growing so much now.
I see you often so your growth isn't as noticeable to me, but when compared to your earlier pictures, you can obviously tell. We don't know how much you weigh, but you last weighed in at 9lbs about a month ago. A couple of people have mentioned that you look like a 5-month old.
Despite your youth, your legs are strong, and you can hold yourself up. You're still too young to have full voluntary control of your arms, head, neck and back, but it's getting there. Your eyesight is getting better as you continue to track people that are in front of you.....and your smiles are more obvious and deliberate.
You also yell like a banshee when you are upset and crying. But still, we haven't encountered you to be inconsolable. You'll cry if you're gassy, need your diaper changed, or if you're hungry.
That's it for now. Your mother just got back from the Brian McKnight concert with your Auntie Gladys. I'm going to sit with her while she gets a bit to eat before bed.
Love,
Dad
Sunday, August 21, 2016
A Primer In Maternity Leave
Dear Violet,
We just got back from a few days in Santa Cruz, from what is referred to as a 'staycation'. Your mother is taking about 6 months off from work, while I returned to work after about 3 weeks after your birth.
The laws here in the United States only legally allow employees 12 weeks of unpaid leave in a calendar year, where they are protected from losing their jobs. In contrast, in most European countries, leave for the birth of a child is up to a year, and is fully paid. Sentiment is changing slowly here in the states with cities taking the lead of how their cities' residents are treated. San Francisco just recently passed a law giving residents of the City and County of San Francisco up to six weeks of fully paid maternity leave.
Your mother is allowed by her company to take up to 6 months off, but her pay is limited to what she has accrued for vacation and sick time. The rest is partially made up by state disability benefits which gives her eight weeks of pay concurrent with her sick time. After that, her company will allow her to stay off work for up to six months, but unpaid.
Which means I'll be working and supporting all of us with just my job. It'll be a bit of a challenge, but it will also be temporary.
We just got back from a few days in Santa Cruz, from what is referred to as a 'staycation'. Your mother is taking about 6 months off from work, while I returned to work after about 3 weeks after your birth.
The laws here in the United States only legally allow employees 12 weeks of unpaid leave in a calendar year, where they are protected from losing their jobs. In contrast, in most European countries, leave for the birth of a child is up to a year, and is fully paid. Sentiment is changing slowly here in the states with cities taking the lead of how their cities' residents are treated. San Francisco just recently passed a law giving residents of the City and County of San Francisco up to six weeks of fully paid maternity leave.
Your mother is allowed by her company to take up to 6 months off, but her pay is limited to what she has accrued for vacation and sick time. The rest is partially made up by state disability benefits which gives her eight weeks of pay concurrent with her sick time. After that, her company will allow her to stay off work for up to six months, but unpaid.
Which means I'll be working and supporting all of us with just my job. It'll be a bit of a challenge, but it will also be temporary.
Monday, August 1, 2016
1 month
Dear Violet,
Remarkable things I observed for today. Your mother was feeding you a lot, more often than the every 3-4 hours, and usually when you began to be fussy because she thought you were hungry. That may or may not be the case, but one data point does not a pattern make. We will see how it goes. When you have your next check up, I think your growth is going to be well above the curve.
The thought I have had while observing you on a day to day basis, is that every day is a first, and a last. You have definitely grown in the last month, and progressed with your development, though seeing you in person, it's not very noticeable. It is when I see the pictures and videos that we've taken of you thus far. You are definitely growing. Your hair is thicker, your newborn clothes are a little bit more snug, and your adorable cheeks are puffy and then not from day to day.
I find myself already missing this part of your life. As every day passes, you grow, change...soon, you will be walking, talking, being more cognizant of the world you now live in; and the little infant that you are now, will be gone.
Things that I'll always remember are the way you get milk-drunk after breast feeding. I mean, you really get milk-drunk and drowsy. After your long naps, you stretch by raising both of your arms straight over your head, and you arch your back, and give a prolonged "unnnnngh"; when you cry...i mean really cry...it breaks my heart. Your voice is so little, and when we calm you down, you are still trembling with angst, while holding back your cry, your face flushed with distress, your eyes black as onyx, with little tears running down your face.
That's it for tonight. I have to work tomorrow, and my mind is a bit empty for writing. My thoughts think about what I need to do for work tomorrow, and they are also with your Lolo and Lola.
Life at my station in life right now Violet is complicated....but also it's not. You being here, definitely helps focus that, and your growth and development are the priority. My efforts to see that through, with love, compassion, and laughter, make the tasks clear. It's familiar territory (I have Bayani to thank for that, I will tell you about him later) and I enter this phase of my life calmly and assured that life really is just beginning.
Love,
Dad
Remarkable things I observed for today. Your mother was feeding you a lot, more often than the every 3-4 hours, and usually when you began to be fussy because she thought you were hungry. That may or may not be the case, but one data point does not a pattern make. We will see how it goes. When you have your next check up, I think your growth is going to be well above the curve.
The thought I have had while observing you on a day to day basis, is that every day is a first, and a last. You have definitely grown in the last month, and progressed with your development, though seeing you in person, it's not very noticeable. It is when I see the pictures and videos that we've taken of you thus far. You are definitely growing. Your hair is thicker, your newborn clothes are a little bit more snug, and your adorable cheeks are puffy and then not from day to day.
I find myself already missing this part of your life. As every day passes, you grow, change...soon, you will be walking, talking, being more cognizant of the world you now live in; and the little infant that you are now, will be gone.
Things that I'll always remember are the way you get milk-drunk after breast feeding. I mean, you really get milk-drunk and drowsy. After your long naps, you stretch by raising both of your arms straight over your head, and you arch your back, and give a prolonged "unnnnngh"; when you cry...i mean really cry...it breaks my heart. Your voice is so little, and when we calm you down, you are still trembling with angst, while holding back your cry, your face flushed with distress, your eyes black as onyx, with little tears running down your face.
That's it for tonight. I have to work tomorrow, and my mind is a bit empty for writing. My thoughts think about what I need to do for work tomorrow, and they are also with your Lolo and Lola.
Life at my station in life right now Violet is complicated....but also it's not. You being here, definitely helps focus that, and your growth and development are the priority. My efforts to see that through, with love, compassion, and laughter, make the tasks clear. It's familiar territory (I have Bayani to thank for that, I will tell you about him later) and I enter this phase of my life calmly and assured that life really is just beginning.
Love,
Dad
Saturday, July 30, 2016
4 weeks
Dear Violet,
It's an early, overcast Saturday morning, a day before you turn one month old, and you're currently behind me sleeping in your yellow rocker. Your mother is sleeping downstairs, a bit tired from the overnight feedings. She's not a morning person, ([whispering] so she would be sleeping in like this anyway, but don't tell her I told you that). Your Kuya Darien is asleep also, after spending what looks to be half the night awake playing video games (i know this because your Kuya leaves a messy trail that couldn't fool even the worst detective in the world). He was up all night, because he slept all day. That's his current 16-year old habit, that will change sooner than later as he gets older and more independent. It'll be a rude awakening for him (pun intended).
So far, you're pretty consistent with 4 hour feeding intervals, and last night we took advantage of that to try and strategically get rest. Before your mother went out to have dinner with her co-workers, she fed you around 630p, and you slept until she got back at 1030p.
Your appetite seems to be increasing as you ingested 5.5oz of bottled breast milk at 1030p, which is good, but I wonder just how much further it will increase. Your Lola's memories of me as a baby include her using a funnel to feed me baby food and mango when I was your age. I would cry as soon as your grandmother would take the spoon out of my mouth.....so she went with the funnel.
In any case, you fed again at 230a, and again around 6a. Your mother and I are trying to avoid being awake (all of us) during that infamous 330a-430a window, where my experience in the firehouse (my 12 or so years of sleep deprivation) tells me, if you get caught awake during that time, it doesn't matter how much rest you've gotten, you're bound for an extended nap that will eat half of your day.
Your Mom and I know ourselves enough to know that she is a night owl, and not a morning person. I, on the other hand, tend to stay up late and can get up early, but I usually drop off a cliff at night, and I usually need an "old man" nap in mid afternoon to recharge. If I sleep through the aforementioned "window", I'm usually good to go for the day.
A few observations on your progress since I last wrote:
Your tummy time progress continues to increase. You're able to hold your head up for increased amounts of time when you're laying on your stomach, and your eyes are definitely tracking people. You even turn your head to track people as well. But a lot of your actions are mostly still instinct and involuntary.
You use your hands a lot. At first it seemed like your left hand more than your right, but now it seems with equal dexterity. You stretch a lot, usually raising both of your arms straight over your head. It remains to be seen whether you end up right or left handed. Secretly, I hope you're left handed like your daddy.
You also like to look outside a lot. I notice this on our car rides, and even out the window in the apartment towards the Berkeley Hills.
Mom just got up and fed you, and you're now on the couch talking about what kind of cake she's going to get you for your 1-month 'birthday'.
Talk soon. I need to go do some grocery shopping.
Dad
Dear Violet,
It's an early, overcast Saturday morning, a day before you turn one month old, and you're currently behind me sleeping in your yellow rocker. Your mother is sleeping downstairs, a bit tired from the overnight feedings. She's not a morning person, ([whispering] so she would be sleeping in like this anyway, but don't tell her I told you that). Your Kuya Darien is asleep also, after spending what looks to be half the night awake playing video games (i know this because your Kuya leaves a messy trail that couldn't fool even the worst detective in the world). He was up all night, because he slept all day. That's his current 16-year old habit, that will change sooner than later as he gets older and more independent. It'll be a rude awakening for him (pun intended).
So far, you're pretty consistent with 4 hour feeding intervals, and last night we took advantage of that to try and strategically get rest. Before your mother went out to have dinner with her co-workers, she fed you around 630p, and you slept until she got back at 1030p.
Your appetite seems to be increasing as you ingested 5.5oz of bottled breast milk at 1030p, which is good, but I wonder just how much further it will increase. Your Lola's memories of me as a baby include her using a funnel to feed me baby food and mango when I was your age. I would cry as soon as your grandmother would take the spoon out of my mouth.....so she went with the funnel.
In any case, you fed again at 230a, and again around 6a. Your mother and I are trying to avoid being awake (all of us) during that infamous 330a-430a window, where my experience in the firehouse (my 12 or so years of sleep deprivation) tells me, if you get caught awake during that time, it doesn't matter how much rest you've gotten, you're bound for an extended nap that will eat half of your day.
Your Mom and I know ourselves enough to know that she is a night owl, and not a morning person. I, on the other hand, tend to stay up late and can get up early, but I usually drop off a cliff at night, and I usually need an "old man" nap in mid afternoon to recharge. If I sleep through the aforementioned "window", I'm usually good to go for the day.
A few observations on your progress since I last wrote:
Your tummy time progress continues to increase. You're able to hold your head up for increased amounts of time when you're laying on your stomach, and your eyes are definitely tracking people. You even turn your head to track people as well. But a lot of your actions are mostly still instinct and involuntary.
You use your hands a lot. At first it seemed like your left hand more than your right, but now it seems with equal dexterity. You stretch a lot, usually raising both of your arms straight over your head. It remains to be seen whether you end up right or left handed. Secretly, I hope you're left handed like your daddy.
You also like to look outside a lot. I notice this on our car rides, and even out the window in the apartment towards the Berkeley Hills.
Mom just got up and fed you, and you're now on the couch talking about what kind of cake she's going to get you for your 1-month 'birthday'.
Talk soon. I need to go do some grocery shopping.
Dad
Sunday, July 17, 2016
2 Weeks
Dear Violet,
You had a lot of visitors today. The Urot 5 (Jed, Michelle, Madison, Jed Furious, and Jeo Money) and the Intintolis (Anthony, Rita, Matteo, and Luca) came to visit you here at the apartment in Albany. Oh by the way, this is my first letter to you. I wanted to start with day 1, but better late than never. I'll write you more letters as time goes on, especially about your first days with us.
I'm not sure about how the content of these letters will play out, little one. It's going to be part letter to you, part journal. I usually free write and let my thoughts flow out. At times, it can seem to be verbal diarrhea, and other times, it can be very concise and thought provoking, and at times cathartic to a fault. I'm assuming you 'll be reading these long into the future from now. In any case, I digress; onwards to today.
The Urots and Intintolis are some of my oldest friends. I'm 46yo as of this writing, and I met Jed and Anthony when I was 14yo. So yes, 32 years, I've been friends with them. Today was a great day to see them and for them to meet you. Being friends with them this long, there are times when we have had our rough patches, and not gotten along through the years, but we always manage to find our way back. Exactly what happened escapes my memory at the moment, but suffice to say, that we have grown up together, through our formative years as kids, then young adults, and now as parents. People don't always get along all the time....you'll find that out soon enough....but here's lesson #1; what matters most is the present moment, and today, they came to visit you to celebrate your arrival. They truly are my ride and die friends.
Your mother and I ordered 2 pizzas, 1 from Mountain Mike's, and the other from Domino's. With the number of people coming over along with lunch for your Mom, myself and your Kuya Darien, we were going to need it.
The Urots brought us Chicken Tinola, Turon, and a Happy Birthday cupcake for you. I know you can't eat that yet, but ask your Mom....you're going to love it.
The Intintolis came to visit on their way back home to San Carlos. They just arrived from a vacation in Hawaii at the infamous Aulani Disney Resort.
As you'll learn, your Mom is a big Disney fan. Annnnd, I guess I'm going to learn to be. Don't mind me, I was a Mickey fan when I was a small kid, I just have my preferences after all my adventures thus far in life. Disney is definitely something you have to experience, and you will when the time comes. But I'd like you to see it in grand fashion....the 5 parks of Disney World in Florida. I've never been much for beaten paths, and my dear...as much as Disneyland defines Disney....everyone goes there; this family is built for adventure, so I hope we will be going to places not often seen.
Your Mom, along with me and Kuya Darien's help, took your 2-week pictures today that are going to be used for your birth announcement. There is social media, and everyone knows you through there...but there's nothing like good old snail mail to someone to the important people in your life. Don't worry, you look adorable.
With regards to what you've done after 2 weeks; here's what we've observed; you're starting to grow. Your hair is thicker and longer, when you do stay awake, you are staying awake longer. You coo a lot when you sleep, and so far you're a great baby. What I mean by that is, you're not fussy to a point that your mother and I have to expend too much energy. Sure there's the feedings every 3-4 hours, and you do cry, but only when you're hungry and when your diaper needs a change. This week, we've noticed that you are starting to track things that move with your eyes. I'm sure your vision is changing from black and white blurry images, to something more spontaneous.
That's it for now. We'll talk again soon.
Love,
Dad
Dear Violet,
You had a lot of visitors today. The Urot 5 (Jed, Michelle, Madison, Jed Furious, and Jeo Money) and the Intintolis (Anthony, Rita, Matteo, and Luca) came to visit you here at the apartment in Albany. Oh by the way, this is my first letter to you. I wanted to start with day 1, but better late than never. I'll write you more letters as time goes on, especially about your first days with us.
I'm not sure about how the content of these letters will play out, little one. It's going to be part letter to you, part journal. I usually free write and let my thoughts flow out. At times, it can seem to be verbal diarrhea, and other times, it can be very concise and thought provoking, and at times cathartic to a fault. I'm assuming you 'll be reading these long into the future from now. In any case, I digress; onwards to today.
The Urots and Intintolis are some of my oldest friends. I'm 46yo as of this writing, and I met Jed and Anthony when I was 14yo. So yes, 32 years, I've been friends with them. Today was a great day to see them and for them to meet you. Being friends with them this long, there are times when we have had our rough patches, and not gotten along through the years, but we always manage to find our way back. Exactly what happened escapes my memory at the moment, but suffice to say, that we have grown up together, through our formative years as kids, then young adults, and now as parents. People don't always get along all the time....you'll find that out soon enough....but here's lesson #1; what matters most is the present moment, and today, they came to visit you to celebrate your arrival. They truly are my ride and die friends.
Your mother and I ordered 2 pizzas, 1 from Mountain Mike's, and the other from Domino's. With the number of people coming over along with lunch for your Mom, myself and your Kuya Darien, we were going to need it.
The Urots brought us Chicken Tinola, Turon, and a Happy Birthday cupcake for you. I know you can't eat that yet, but ask your Mom....you're going to love it.
The Intintolis came to visit on their way back home to San Carlos. They just arrived from a vacation in Hawaii at the infamous Aulani Disney Resort.
As you'll learn, your Mom is a big Disney fan. Annnnd, I guess I'm going to learn to be. Don't mind me, I was a Mickey fan when I was a small kid, I just have my preferences after all my adventures thus far in life. Disney is definitely something you have to experience, and you will when the time comes. But I'd like you to see it in grand fashion....the 5 parks of Disney World in Florida. I've never been much for beaten paths, and my dear...as much as Disneyland defines Disney....everyone goes there; this family is built for adventure, so I hope we will be going to places not often seen.
Your Mom, along with me and Kuya Darien's help, took your 2-week pictures today that are going to be used for your birth announcement. There is social media, and everyone knows you through there...but there's nothing like good old snail mail to someone to the important people in your life. Don't worry, you look adorable.
With regards to what you've done after 2 weeks; here's what we've observed; you're starting to grow. Your hair is thicker and longer, when you do stay awake, you are staying awake longer. You coo a lot when you sleep, and so far you're a great baby. What I mean by that is, you're not fussy to a point that your mother and I have to expend too much energy. Sure there's the feedings every 3-4 hours, and you do cry, but only when you're hungry and when your diaper needs a change. This week, we've noticed that you are starting to track things that move with your eyes. I'm sure your vision is changing from black and white blurry images, to something more spontaneous.
That's it for now. We'll talk again soon.
Love,
Dad
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